01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

02) What was your dream growing up?

03) What talent do you wish you had?

04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

05) Favorite vegetable?

06) What was the last book you read?

07) What zodiac sign are you?

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

09) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

26) What's your favorite place to hang out at?

27) Do you believe in ghosts?

28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

29) Do you swear a lot?

30) Biggest pet peeve?

31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

33) Favorite and least favorite food?

34) Do you believe in God?

35) Will you repost this in your journal so I can answer the questions for you?

I know, I know, I never update when I say I'm going to. That's the joys of having children and constantly running around.

School started for Kaye. She didn't want to go on the first day but fortunately Billy was able to be there and show her the toy room. She was then very happy to stay and said she fun when she came home. Would you believe she gets homework in pre-school? Nothing major but still...

Vegas was great. It was hot but we had fun. I got to see my friend from high school that I haven't seen in 20 years! That was the best part of the trip. We walked the strip and told each other stupid stories for most of the night.

Charlie is fine. He spent a couple days at the vet and started eating while he was there so they sent him home. His x-rays didn't show anything. We have since decided to get pet insurance. The damn cat is costing a fortune!!

We acquired another feline. Her name is Lucy. She hides alot. I got her just before we went to Vegas and if I've seen her 3 times, it's alot. She's very sweet tho, just not used to kids, dogs, and other cats.

Katrina is taking me out for a belated birthday dinner tonight. Going to Popei's for crab leg goodness!!!

Camp is over and I finally have Tuesdays and Thursdays to myself again!!!

Kaye had her checkup this morning so I was up by 7. Dr. was at 8:30. Everything is great. She's a little on the thin side but they said not to worry about it. Gave her a new prescription for her vitamins. I just hope she'll take them! So now she's all ready for school. Orientation is on the 4th and her first day is on the 14th. That worked out perfectly because Billy and I are going to Vegas on the 10th and will be back on the 13th. I was afraid school was going to start while we were away. It's going to be a bit of a pain tho, Billy's mother is watching the kids and she lives in Queens. Unfortunately our flights are in and out of Islip. So we are gonna land at 10:55 on Sunday night and have to drive out to Queens to get the kids. Nanny (Billy's mother) said she'd keep them till Monday but I don't think I want Kaye to miss her first day of school.

So anyway, after the doctor, I dropped the kids off at Laurie's. I came home real quick, then ran over to Tara's to drop off her Lia Sophia stuff. I hung out there for awhile. She had to go to the dentist so I left and decided to stop at Danielle's. I hadn't seen her in awhile so we got caught up. I came home again real quick to let the dog out and go potty. Ran out to Walmart. Bought a backpack, lunchbox, folder and pencils for Kaye. Some fitted sheets for her bunk beds (I don't bother with flat sheets, too much of a pain in the ass), Stuart Little DVD cause it was on the $5 dollar rack, earrings, a new schick intuition, and blades for me.

Now I am home waiting for it to be time to take the cat to the vet because he ate 3 Polly Pocket heads and is now puking all over the place and won't eat. This is not the first time for this sort of visit. So far this cat (Charlie), who was last years birthday present, has eaten several bottle nipples. (I had to switch Alex to sippy cups very early because of Charlie)Most of the nipples were latex and he was able to pass them, however, on one occasion, he ate a silicone which got lodged in his intestinal tract and had to have an operation to get it out. He came home from that surgery and proceeded to eat a rubber straw off a sippy cup so back to the vet he went not even a week later. That time the vet was able to induce vomitting and up came the straw. He has recently eaten several Polly Pocket clothing pieces, once he even ate a whole ensemble (pants, shoes, shirt, purse, and hat) but he vomitted all that back out. This time he chewed the heads off 3 Polly dolls and only one came back. So off to the vet we go!!!

I think that's it for now... will update on thursday to let you know how the vet went.

So i haven't posted in awhile, been sick and busy.

Skynyrd and Kid rock were absolutely awesome!! Had a great time tailgating and seeing the show.

Virginia was good but I did something to my foot and had to limp around all weekend. It went by too fast.

last weekend we had a "block" party. It was very cool, it was actually a clambake, very tasty! I got very drunk and spent most of Sunday in bed.

Monday i felt absolutely horrible due to the fact I forgot to take my meds for 2 days in a row.

Kayelynn went to camp today, Alex is napping and I'm enjoying my "me" time!

By the way, even if I don't comment or post I do read my friends page everyday!

This week was fairly uneventful. I had no kids on thursday so I went to WW and then Katrina and I went out to lunch. Then we picked up Aliis and came back to my house. Katrina wanted to soak in my tub (I have a huge jacuzzi tub) cause she hurt her back the other day. So I left them soaking and went to pick up the kids. We just vegged when I got back and went to the Outback when Billy got home. It was yummy!

Last night I went over to Tara's with the kids. Just to get out of the house. Got home and had a small argument with Billy. He's been drinking a lot again. I hate when he does that. Not that he's a nasty drunk but I just don't like the fact that he has to drink from the time he gets home from work until he comes to bed.

Tomorrow is Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd at Jones Beach. YAY!!! We're gonna go early and tailgate.I can't wait. The last 4 years, concerts have been about Billy, always going to see who he wants to see. He's been dragging me to Grateful Dead and Ratdog for 4 years. I hate GD and Ratdog!!! So we are finally going to see bands that I want to see. I am absolutely ecstatic.

At the moment I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing. Billy took Kayelynn to her swimming lesson and then to Petco and Alex is sleeping. I think I might go read a book.....

Ugggh my back hurts...It hasn't hurt like this in forever. It's driving me absolutely nuts. Hopefully the Soma will kick in soon and it won't be so bad.

I went to Weight Watchers the other day. I lost .6 lbs. Not great, but not too bad either. Especially since I went at like 5pm and I had already eaten. Hopefully this week will be better.

Kayelynn is being the devil's spawn lately. I don't know what's with her. She is constantly doing stuff she knows she's not supposed to do and she will not listen to me for anything.

Alex learned several new words today... ok... cool... and cute.

I actually had a day to myself today. Kaye went to camp and Alex went to Cindy's. I finally got my nails filled in and got my pedicure. I try to do it every 2 weeks but it doesn't always work out that way. Other than that I spent an hour paying the bills that needed to be paid. That was not fun. Always too many bills and not enough money.

Going to VA on the 7th to see my mom. Just for the weekend. All by myself!!! YAY!!!!!

I am withdrawing from my Vet Tech class. I'm just not into it. No sense wasting time on it if I'm not interested. My pharmacy tech class is going great. I have an 85 average and I'm moving along swiftly.

I think that's it for now.....

Haven't posted in a couple days and that's cause I had absolutely nothing to post about. I'm been in a semi-depressive state the last couple days, not wanting to do anything. I hate when I get like this, it drives me nuts. So I sat and read, and am now almost finished with the twilight series AGAIN.

Anyway, I'm waiting for Katrina to get here so I can go weigh in. Was suppoosed to do it yesterday but Aliis was sick so Katrina couldn't get here to sit with the kids. Hopefully I lost some weight.

since I have nothing much to say I'm gonna end here. Will prolly post more after Weight Watchers

So we got Alex another crib, we got a voucher from the previous company to replace the recalled one. Guess what? She still gets her leg stuck. I think my daughter will be sleeping in a pack n play from now on. I don't know what else to do. This morning her leg had obviously been stuck in there for quite awhile. As soon as she started to cry I went in there to get her and her leg was already purple. I can't have this happening anymore. The pack n play will have to do. So I will order the bed rails that go with that crib and it will eventually be her full size bed. At least I get something out of it.

Other than that I am completely bored. I don't know what to do with myself. Alex just went back in for her nap and Kayelynn is doing a jigsaw puzzle. I am staring at the computer screen wondering what I should write about. Why is it, when I'm nowhere near my computer I can think of a dozen things to write about but when I'm in front of it I can't think of anything?

The weekend was pretty good. Didn't do anything Friday night. Saturday was swimming for Kaye and the Olivia's (Tara's daughter) birthday party. We didn't stay there too long cause the kids were cranky but it was good. Yesterday I helped Laurie with the day camp yard sale. David and Cindy (my brother and his girlfriend) came over with the kids last night for dinner.

Which brings me to something to talk about. I wish David and Cindy would make up their damn minds. They break up, she moves out, they get back together, she moves back in. It's killing me cause my brother wants me to be her best friend when she's around but doesn't want me to talk to her when she's not. I can not turn my feelings on and off like that. It also pisses me off because there are children involved here, She has 3 from her ex-husband. They have no stability whatsoever. Besides the fact that it hurts my kids when they break up. My kids love her and Kaye asks to see her all the time. What am I supposed to tell her? So now they are back together for the time being, I wonder for how long this time. Their problem is that they both have the same issues. My brother is bi-polar and I believe that she is too. They are both control freaks and that doesn't work out to well. I don't know, I guess i have to live with it. It's their life not mine.

I'm feeling a bit lost today. I don't know what I want to do. I think it will be a pajama day as I am not really feeling like getting up and getting dressed. I think the only important thing going on today is the guy coming to convert my dryer and stove to the right kind of gas fittings.

I think that's it for now. I may be back in later. Sometimes I tend to post a million times a day cause of those random thoughts I have. I hope no one minds.

remember Jenn?



Jenni was known under </a></b></a>the_idea_of_you, </a></b></a>toes_inthe_sand, </a></b></a>get_me_a_latte, </a></b></a>xgrey_sky_eyesx, </a></b></a>playingyourfool, </a></b></a>toesinthesand05, </a></b></a>summerseabreeze, </a></b></a>ill_backyou_up, </a></b></a>ill_back_you_up, </a></b></a>gentleafterglow, </a></b></a>dancedintheam where she posted fake pictures, lied about what state she lived in, lied about being a critical care nurse when she was proven to be a desk clerk. She posted all kinds of grandiose lies about her lifestyle (New BMW, endless boyfriends, new condos, etc). She also used one of the fake journals to lie about having cancer. She would use things posted by her lj-friends in their own journals as sources for some of her lies and deceit. She used her lies about being a nurse to act like she was better than others and generally made her fake persona to be superior to everyone else. Her journals frequently contained the "starting a new job" theme. She was nasty and lashed out at anyone who questioned her superiority OR her lies. When anyone got suspicious and asked any questions, she would delete the journal and create a new one.

I'm trying to write everyday.

So far there have been no catastrophes with the children. But it's still early.

I'm waiting for Katrina to get back so we can drive Aliis out to garden City to drop her off to my brother and then they are going to Connecticut to see my cousins. After that who knows?

Didn't get to Weight Watchers yesterday. That sucks. Katrina and I have made a pledge to do better. The way we are going we are just throwing our money away. I have to stop snacking and having seconds at meals.

We got a new crib for Alex. I found out that the old one was recalled in 2005! That was the same year I bought it! Can you believe that? You would think I would have been contacted considering the fact that my baby's life was at stake. I am fuming about this whole situation. The only good thing is that the company will reimburse us up to $275 toward the cost of the new crib. I think Billy paid $300 with tax, so, not so bad.

I slept for shit last night, kept waking up for no reason at all. Actually it's been like that the last couple nights. I can't win, either I sleep way too much or hardly at all.

I want a new car. I want a Toyota Sienna. I never thought I'd want a minivan but I borrowed a friend's not too long ago and I loved it. It's so much easier with the kids. The Sequoia is just too much of a pain in the ass. I love it but it's not good when you have small children to get in and out of. But, alas, I have to pay off more of it before I can trade it in.

I think that's it for now.

Yes, I said, UGGGGGGHHHHHHH.

Yesterday Alex got her leg caught in between the slats on her crib. This is not the first time but definitely the worst. I ended up breaking the crib to get her leg out. Billy found out today that the crib had been recalled for this exact reason and that there have been deaths associated with the problem. NICE. No one ever told me. I've had that crib since Kayelynn was born. I don't know why Babies R Us takes all your information if they aren't going to let you know when a recall is issued. So Billy is out buying a new crib right now. I hope this one works out better. Although it kinda sucks, in order to get the voucher for the new crib we have to send all the hardware and certain pieces of the crib back to the company. I say it sucks because it's a convertible crib. It can one day be a full size bed. I guess I'll just have to get new hardware for it.

Today I had to pick Kayelynn up early from camp because she had an accident and wet her pants. She has been doing that a lot lately. She put on clean panties when we got home and proceeded to pee in them. I made her take them off and run around half naked. She then went in her room and peed on the floor. I don't understand why she is regressing all of the sudden. The other day she pooped in her pants like 3 times. I don't know what to do. Do i make her wear diapers or pull ups again? Do I let her run around half naked and hope she doesn't pee on the floor. I am totally at a loss.

Reading suggestion: Divine Intervention by Daniel Fazzina. I'm not much into the spiritual and christian thing but it was nice reading stories about people who truly believe and have had miracles in their lives

Also, the Twilight Series. I just love it. I thought it was extremely well written and captivating. I had a hard time putting it down.

No ransom thoughts to comment on today. Maybe later.

See ya!!!

So I've come to the conclusion that journaling is kind of therapeutic for me. Even if I don't have much to say and I just babble away, the act of typing does something to calm me. So bear with me if I am babbling.

I'm laying in bed last night, trying to get to sleep when a thought occurred to me. I think I'm a shitty mother. lately I just don't want to have anything to do with my kids. Don't get me wrong, this does not mean I don't take care of them. They are fed, clothed, healthy and happy. It's just that sometimes I don't want to play with them. I just wish they would leave me the hell alone. Is this normal? And a lot of times if Alex is playing quietly, she spends a lot of time in her crib. I leave her there until she starts crying or screaming. Sometimes she stays in there for hours and hours because she's playing so nicely and I don't want to be bothered chasing her around the house. This makes me a bad mom. I should spend more time with my children, I should play with them. I should take them out more. Most of the time I won't go out because it's just too much to lug 2 small children around with me. I don't know how to make it better, I don't know where to get the motivation to spend quality time with them.

Today will be ok though. We are going to Aunt Ta's (my best friend for life and Alex's godmother). Kayelynn will have Olivia to play with and we can all go in the pool. It's getting out right? Better than sitting at home doing nothing, waiting for Alex to go for her nap so I can have some peace.

I decided I am going to start writing my random thoughts down during the day so I can journal and ponder them when I have time. I may also transcribe my written journal just so it's here. It's nothing interesting but it might get my brain going on things I want to talk about. Sometimes I need objective opinions from people who don't know the people I am talking about.

Anyway that's it for now. Time to get the kids ready and get out of here.

Bren, I have to be honest, I kept some of your answers, not because I couldn't think of answer but because you said exactly what I would have said anyway. I hope you don't mind....




I want to know some things about my friends. Not silly stuff, though. I want to know what the people around me need, what they want, what makes them tick, what pisses them off. I especially want to know it about the people I see in my daily and weekly life, because it's about how the people want to be treated. But even if we've never met or meet only once or twice a year, I want to hear your answers. Many of these are based on real life incidents. Some are positive, some are more... challenging.

a) Be as thoughtful and specific as you want to be, but the more detail you go into, the better I (or other people) can understand you and how you tick.
b) Skip and / or add questions if you want to.
c) Answers are screened unless you say otherwise (last question - if you add questions, please move it to the end).
d) Repost if you want my answers, or others'.

1) What is your favourite type of gift? Hand-made? Expensive? Fleeting (like food)? Give examples, if you like.

hand made and choclate

2) Conversely, what kinds of gifts make you go, "Huh? What do I do with THIS?"

things that show a person doesn't know me at all.

3) If someone knows something that will hurt or upset you, is it better for them to tell you or keep it to themselves?

I prefer honesty, even if it hurts

4) If you're feeling down, what can people do to bring you "up"? Do you prefer gifts, talking about it, talking about something else, physical activity, a movie or something to take your mind off it, a punching bag, etc?

I usually prefer to be by myself when I'm down, but sometimes I like being taken out. It helps get my mind off things.

5) If you're on vacation with your significant other, and someone you used to date is in a terrible accident about which there is nothing you can do, would you prefer to know right away, or wait until you get home? (This is a weird one, but it happened to someone I know, and almost everyone is surprised that others have a different opinion than they do...)

It likely depends on how I feel about the person now. If it was say the guy I used to be engaged to...probably I'd want to know right away...if it's someone I broke up with years ago and haven't really spoken to since...you can tell me later.

6) If you are doing something that really irks someone else, would you prefer that they walk away from you, tell you directly, tell you indirectly (via an email, for example, or something similar that you can respond to or ignore), or something else?

Probably tell me directly (but pull me aside and do it privately)

7) What are your pet-peeves, particularly things your friends may do that really irk you, and how do you prefer to deal with them?

Stupid people. You were born with a brain... freakin use it!

8) What are your "triggers" -- things that you REALLY can't be around, phobias, things that make you lose control, behave badly, or just generally have a melt-down? (Not everyone knows theirs, but I think everyone has them.)

tequila makes me behave badly if I'm in a bad mood, otherwise I'm a happy drunk. I also can't handle when the children are up my butt all day long.

9) List a few of your favourite topics to discuss with people.

Life, current events, whats going through the mind.

10) And, list a few things you'd rather not talk about, or hear people talking about.

Probably nothing...as long as the conversation is intelligent and thought out I'm all for it!

11) Along the lines of the "languages of love," how do you prefer that people show you that they care about you?

I need communication and emotion. Logic doesn't always work. The way I look at is my brain works fine and I can think for myself...sometimes I need you (a general you not a specific you) to think with your heart...And sometimes I want them to know when to leave me alone.

12) How do you best show people that you care about them?

Being there for them, no matter what they've put me through

Now it's your turn! Ready...set...GO!

.... my "me" day. I got to camp this morning and Laurie couldn't take Alex. She is the camp director and the assistant director was leaving at 11;30 so Laurie had her hands full. I understand though and I can't complain, Kayelynn gets to go and she enjoys it. So anyway, Katrina (my ex sis in law)came over, we dropped off my car at firestone for an oil change and inspection and headed to the beach. I proceeded to spray Alex down with sunscreen and she proceeded to scream her head off. We tried to feed her to no avail, that's when I knew something was wrong, Alex never passes up a chance to eat. I left Katrina at the beach with Aliis (my niece) and brought Alex home. Thank god the beach is only 5 minutes away! I took off all her clothes, changed her diaper and wiped her down, she finally stopped screaming. I think she had an allergic reaction to the sunscreen. Wonderful!!!!! She is now peacefully sleeping and I have to wake her up soon to go back, pick up Katrina and Aliis, go pick up my car, (hopefully it will be ready) and then go pick up Kayelynn by 3pm. There goes my day.....

Thanks Tracy for posting again. We gotta get together, I miss you. Are you going to the parentals the weekend of August 7th? I am going by myself. No kids!!! Prolly flying down on Wed and going home on Sunday.

On that note, I love going to Virginia by myself. Its nice to have a break from the kids. My mom lives in the middle of nowhere and I get to relax and do whatever I want. I plan on spending most of my time by the pool. And shopping. I love to shop down there, much cheaper than here.

By the way if there is anything my new friends would like to know about me, just ask and you'll get completely honest answers.

Well, I'm off, gonna catch up on some DVR before I have to go pick up the girls!

So I have added some new friends to my list. Hopefully they will add me too. I hope to gain insight, humor, and seriousness. I hope to give the same in return. Hello to all my new friends. hello to my old ones too.

I just sat here and caught up on a friends journal and all I can say is.... holy shit, no one should have to go through all that in such a short amount of time. I don't even wish that on my brothers girlfriend and I can't stand her at the moment. I also say this.... You are a strong woman and my thoughts are with you. I would have never gotten through that. I admire you for your strength and courage. I know that sounds corny but I truly mean it

So here I am again, not exactly sure what to write about but all the same I feel like writing. I have that issue a lot, I feel like writing but have absolutely nothing to say. This means I will end up babbling away about nothing at all. So be forewarned, you might want to stop reading right here and now.
My neighbors are really annoying me. They woke me up at 3am the other night because they were being loud and obnoxious. Why they felt it was alright to scream and yell at 3am is beyond me. People have no common courtesy anymore. It drives me nuts. I may have been a tad less annoyed had it been a weekend but it wasn't. Now it's 10pm and they're out there again being completely loud and obnoxious.
I am on Weight Watchers again. I'm not doing too well. I want to do better. I need to lose this weight. It's killing my self esteem. I may just go for that tummy tuck. Only because I have this horrible saggy belly that I don't think is going to get any better just from losing weight. My mom has the same thing. I've seen her lose a lot of weight and the belly never goes away. Now to save the money. It can cost anywhere from $1500 to $7500. That's a lot but I think it will be totally worth it. I will feel so much better about myself. My gut is the worst thing about me. I hate it. Just getting rid of it will drop me several pant sizes.
Let's see..... what else? We moved not too long ago. Into a huge house that is so hard to keep clean. Wood floors throughout. Does anyone have any idea how hard it is to keep them clean when you have 2 dogs and 4 cats? I hope someone sympathizes with me. I'd hate to be the only one in the world with dirty hardwood floors.
The kids are growing so fast. I can't keep up. Kayelynn is 4 and too smart for her own good. It scares me how smart she is. Alex, as I said, is a walking terror. She is also way too smart. My kids outsmart me every chance they get. Does this happen to anyone else? Once again, I hope so.
Well, I think that's it for now. Although the act of typing is very calming to me, I don't have much else to say.
Have a good weekend!

I have to be honest, I totally and completely forgot about my live journal. I probably have no friends left on here. I think I might start using it again though. I need somewhere to store my thoughts. Life has been super hectic but it's starting to even out a bit.
I think last time I wrote I had just found out I was pregnant. Well Alexandra Jayne Ryan was born on March 17th 2008, happy and healthy. She is now over a year old and quite a handful. She is the total opposite of my first child who you could sit on the floor with a bunch of toys and she would play for hours. Not Alex, she is constantly on the move and in to everything. She drives me absolutely nuts sometimes. But whereas Kayelynn is my pretty petite little girl, Alex will be my beautiful butch.
I am on quite a few new meds and feeling great, best I've felt in a long time. I really hope I still have some friends left out there. If you're still there gimme a shout an let me know!

I have to post this because it just touched my heart....WARNING: it WILL make you cry.....
( Read more )